i have nothing to write about. i'm not even capitalizing. sad about things that don't matter. sad about things that won't get better or change. that's the worst part. i can't change them, i tired, jesus, did i try to change them. i feel like such a loser. i just get stuck on a thought and i can't get rid of it. i'm still not sure what happened. i just. it's like. the only thing you want in the world, what you live for, what you would die for, and you'll never have it. not possibly someday. not ever. i'm being dramatic i suppose. just ignore me. whatever.