Thursday, April 18, 2013

Let's make out

Not really, what I meant was "let's sit around and real talk then I'll buy you a drink for putting up with the ridiculous existence that is Megan Downs".
Right now in this very moment I am doing a few things, listening to Pandora, waiting for my friend to get off work, trying to decide what to wear, and in some ways the most important thing is texting my husband exhusband Dustin. I say that's the most important because I just said something to him and then I realized it was true. We're going to a show in May and I was trying to decide what to wear ( I plan outfits by events not dates) and he said something about not dressing "slutty". Which led to a few more comments and then I said this-
 "Hey man, I like the way I look, I'm not insecure about it anymore"
I think this is the first time it's been true. I'm not insecure about myself anymore. I used to have crippling anxiety about how I look and myself as a person. I would get dressed in the morning and decide not to go to school. I've been at water parks and started crying before I'd take off my swimsuit cover in front of people.  I don't anymore. I am who I am. I look the way I look. I can always be thinned, my hair and skin could always be better and I know that. But overall, I'm pretty fucking golden. Fuck you if you're not into it, you don't run my life.
Sure in the greater scheme of life there are things I'd like to change but as far as being at some kind of inner peace with myself, I totally am.
Be happy people, own and work with what you've got. It takes a shitton less effort to be happy than to dwell on the past and things you've probably created in your head. .  

Also, yeah that picture is odd, it's just a still from this video I made Anthony. WHOSE trip I would document but I think the pictures are starting to get repetitive. 

1 comment:

  1. that's why I love you! that's why I love your blog... you have accomplished something that I struggled with as well and believe it or not watching and reading about you has helped me not give a fuck. So keep it up! Your just too darn cute!