Tuesday, February 14, 2012

can't help it

Ok, I need to get this out.
I don't care if he fucked me over again. I don't care about that other thing that's happening. Bitch. I don't care about the hurt or lies or pain or bullshit. I don't care about any of it, I can get over all of it, I know for a fact we can work past it and be stronger. I don't give a shit how sad and pathetic this sounds. I miss Dustin, I love him, I know he loves me (I'm not being crazy, he told me, of course he loves me, how could he not) and I want my fucking life back. We're married, we have a child, I can't fucking help it.
Why yes I am the most compassionate, loyal, understanding, and most forgiving girl in the word. I know right? And I'm cute.
None of this matters of course, he left for Afghanistan for 12 months. While I've heard from a few people a few times different ways they'd like him to be hurt (which is so FUCKED up to say about anyone) I don't feel that way at all. I want more than anything in the world to make it better, I know he does too. But even still, even if that never happens and we get divorced as soon as he gets back, I just want him to come home safe. That's what matters the most. 

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