Wednesday, July 6, 2011

At least they can't get worse

Ok so on the plus side, a few days ago I made the decision not to make anything worse, I know I know I've said it like a thousand times, and I haven't been and we've actually been able to talk without him yelling at me or me crying so that's good. On the bummer side, I knew and I told him that if we didn't talk about it and if we didn't make some decisions that my parents we're going to get fed up with me just sitting at their house and they would step in and take over...so that's awesome. I was like kind of able to hold them off for a while and I'm bringing Abbey down next Tuesday so he can see her and am still holding on to the hope that things will get better if they stop getting worse and if they don't well then I hope we can come to an arrangement cause he can't afford to do this and he certainly can't afford what's going to come of it,.
I hate saying things like that by the way, but what other choice do I have? Really I just want all this shit to stop stop stop and things to be ok ok ok.
So there's that update.

Other things that have been going on?
Well the other day I fell on some rocks and totally busted up my face, that's why I'm not posting pictures. It hurts like hell and looks really bad, but it looks better everyday.
Abbey's started baby food a few times a day with formula, and she's just about to sit up on her own but like she would much rather skip that and just start crawling, so she works a lot harder on that.
I've decided to give up on my dreams of pastry, which totally sucks but I'm just going to go off and get one of those two year degrees that pays ridiculously well. Which is kind of selling out but like I have a baby to think about and sh matters more than like owing a cute little vegan bakery that also sells crafts and local veggies. Oh my goodness I just got really sad I don't want to give up my dream!!! I'll do it eventually but like right now this is what's best for us. Like even if I get the outcome that I want out of Dustin I'm still going to go this route I mean hello I'll be 22 on the 26th but that's not old or dead and I can still go to pastry school some day.
Mom, Austin, Kody and Austin's friend Maddie are all about to leave for Texas, like in an hour, and Conner, Abbey, Dad and I are all staying here. Awkward much? I can't go, for one thing I have no way to get there and for another I just like can't deal with my family right now you know? And I have to go see Dustin next week, and I really REALLY need to go get Abbey's birth certificate and like some other things that I can't put off anymore so we're not going.
I've been writing in the five year journal everyday for like over a month.
And now I'm really really bored so I feel a thrift store trip coming on, maybe I'll have pictures of that to post tomorrow or something.

But can you tell I'm feeling a little better?

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