Thursday, June 23, 2011

Garland DIY

Do I actually feel like doing this?
No, not really.
I took these pictures with my phone so they kind of suck
Here's another simple garland DIY Project
You will need-
a circle pattern to trace and trace and trace
scissors
tape
patterned paper
twine or string or yarn

Ok, trace, cut and fold circles, patterned side IN
I used 60 circles this made 12 little balls.

Start taping away
pick out five patterns, or colors, you like and tape them all together

 start stringing them, make sure you like tie a knot at either side of little ball
to keep them from bunching up.
mine are about 6 inches apart

And there you go!
Like I said, I used 60 circles, 5 circles per ball, 12 balls, 6 inches apart.
It should be about 6 feet long
But I'm really bad at math so I could be totally wrong.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'm really trying to avoid whining

The words "emotional roller coaster" do not even begin to explain what I've been like the past few weeks.
Some things you should know about me, I'm probably one of the most irrational people you've ever met, I have an anxiety disorder, and I have pretty awful OCD. But not like the compulsion part, just the obsessive part, OK I'm actually also really compulsive. Basically that means that when I get an idea in my head I obsess over it till I'm crying, then have an anxiety attack over it,then make really bad choices that don't help anything in the long run.
And I'm sorry but the fact that I'm here by myself with Abbey all the time does not help, then I'm just like you know, alone with my thoughts, making it worse. My family is on a trip taking my sister Austin to look at colleges and I'm here with the baby watching the pets and house. It's really hard right now. I'm OK then I'm not, I'm happy then I'm hysterically crying and Abbey is just looking at me like I'm crazy, and I'm kind of like too embarrassed to leave the house. No one knows, and I know that, but I feel like everyone does. It sucks.
I just want this to get better, and I know I'm making it worse. I've lost 6lbs since last Thursday, which is actually pretty awesome but like you know blah blah un-healthy and what not. I've said this before to Dustin and to everyone but it's time that I really really start channelling all my efforts and energy into taking this better and making it OK, whatever it takes. I don't care, I'll do anything. Right now that means like I guess keeping myself busy and you know leaving the house and trying, trying my hardest not to obsess over everything and make anything worse than it is.
He's supposed to call me tonight, well he was supposed to call me last night, and the night before but if he does call me tonight I'm going to tell him all this. And i know what he's going to say, I've said this before, I can't do it, there's nothing left to talk about but like I don't know maybe he'll believe me when I say I can do it. I don't want this to happen.
With every fiber of my being I don't want this to happen, it's not fair, it's not right, it's a selfish fucked up thing for him to do. I'll do anything it stop it.

Monday, June 13, 2011

these could help

I think having these shoes would help this whole situation a lot.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Better for now

Maybe it's because I just watched the Mavricks win the NBA finals (totally out of character for me do to right?) or maybe it's because, actually I've got nothing else, it's the win, but I'm feeling temporarily better.
Now when I realize that Dustin isn't going to call me tonight like he said he would, well that's another story. But for now I am feeling better.
I've decided that my dearest baby girl Abbey Memphis needs to be, cooler. LOL
Not that I think my baby is uncool, because she totally is, what I mean is i think I might spending more time and effort into making sure all of her cloths and toys are vintage, or like by indie designers.
This might sound completely ridiculous, and I agree it kind of is but I really want to give her a leg up in life, cool wise. With a name like Abbey Memphis, she has a lot to live up to. (Not like Abigail, like the Beatles. And Memphis which is like one of the greatest cities in America) Had I known what was going to happen, I would have gotten my way and named her Rigby. I had my heart set on Rigby.
Also have I told you that I've decided that I'm going to become a vegan pastry chef? Yep, that's my calling in life.

nope

still too upset. the idea of like everything seems stupid. shopping, laughing, eating, i dont' care about any of it right now. how could he do this?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I'm sort of back

So like, ok I'm staying at my paretns house again for a little while. I have to take care of the pets while they're out of town and like a few other reasons that I just don't really want to share right now.
But if I start to feel better or I have good things to say I will be posting like every day for I don't know a few weeks or so.
I'm so upset, I don't know what to do.
I love you.